I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
