I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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