Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
