Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
