i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
