For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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