We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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