did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
