dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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