HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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