Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
