break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
