id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize