I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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