Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
