i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
