I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
