Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
