You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
