dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
