How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
