I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
