His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
