is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
