Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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