We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
