ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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