It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
