I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
