Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
