i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize