HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
