weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
