TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
