Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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