I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
