a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
