What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
