You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize