He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
