Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
