i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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