I didn't shave. On purpose
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
