love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
