There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
