Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
