There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize