Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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