THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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