Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
