I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
