everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
