I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
