Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
