Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
