fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
