He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
