Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
