Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
