i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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