Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
