Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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