no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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