Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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