my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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