Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
