At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
