there's paper in my vomit.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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