One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
