Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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