Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
