He asked to "fluff my boner.."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
