He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
